So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
