So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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