I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We got so high we made milksteak
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
