my vag is so smooth its legendary
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
