bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
