My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
