I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
