I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
