i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
