It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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