And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
