Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize