u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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