the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
