Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
