oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
