How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
