Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
