I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize