It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
