i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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