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Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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