Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize