You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize