I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
