"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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