there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
