quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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