I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet he comes in French.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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