My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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