He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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