so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
