be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
