I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
