Nicole vs. Life
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
