You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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