And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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