Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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