party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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