carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
