Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize