only if we run a train.
done.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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