No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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