Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
