i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
