how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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