please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
