oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
