Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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