capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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