I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize