Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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