had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
