he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
