Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
