So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
