update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
