4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
