I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
