she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize