She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
