wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
