Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
