does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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