Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
