your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
