You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
