Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
