I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
