So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Panties = found
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