The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
